How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life

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You Shall Not Pass!!

November 10th, 2011

Despicable. 

Oh, we watch skinned knees and broken hearts from a bit of distance. It hurts us to the core to see our precious sons and daughters suffer, but we realize there are times it is part of growing in character and confidence that we allow them to stretch in their lives and relationships. But, when it comes to our children’s souls, the core of who they are, a father protects his sons and daughters from all evil. Whatever threatens their very souls, the core of who they are, a loving father stands like Gandolf, and cries out,

“You shall not pass!”

This is not just the role of dad.

Any man worth his Y chromosomes is going to be father protector in the extened family.

Older brother.

Grandpa.

Uncle.

And any man who is given the privilege of spending time in a father’s role in someone else’s son’s or daughter’s life, the echo against evil remains.

“You shall not pass!”

Friend.

Babysitter.

Teacher.

COACH…

 

“Deliver us from evil.”

Any man worth being called a man, answers to the call:

“Deliverer!”

Evil? Horror?

“You shall not pass!”

My fingers are burning right now. I don’t want to short out your screens while you are reading this, so I will finish.

Fathers…Protectors…

Men…

These are our sons and daughters…

 

evil one…

and those who would follow your vile touch on their own lives…

…In the name of God,

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!

Where’s Dad??

November 4th, 2011
Sharing your faith with your son is not complicated. It doesn't take huge quantities of time. Sharing your faith with your son is about frequency and consistency. 

Even before we begin with the process, however, we need to understand a huge error in thinking for many fathers, that is based on the poor teaching and modeling they received, in particular in American culture. It's kind of like our dirty little secret. Here is the formula.

Spiritual= Women

Let me be more specific and say fathers in American society who identify as "Christian," fall into this trap all the time. These dads (you, who are reading this right now, may be one of them ) pray, pray at meals, acknowledge faith in Jesus, may participate in some faith practices at home, and may occasionally attend church activities. Yet, even among these dads, nurturing the faith of their children is considered mom's responsibility. 

If there are any faith practices in the home they are almost always initiated and led my mom. Bedtime prayers- mom-led. On the rare occasion that children are brought to church activities (4% of people in their 20's/ 15% of people in their 30's are regularly connected to faith communities, today in America), they are most often brought by their mothers alone. 

If you are an active part of a Christian community you have seen "spiritual widows"- women who are active in a church community without their husbands, carrying out their faith nurturing role alone. On the one hand, you admire their efforts, on the other, you ask yourself, "Where's dad?"

10 Calories Make Me a Man?

October 19th, 2011
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Dr Pepper was first sold in 1885, one year earlier than Coca Cola. Like similar drinks, it was originally marketed as a brain tonic and energy drink, first served at a drug store in Waco, Texas. Touting 23 different ingredients, one of them always rumored to be prune juice.

Well, like all products these days, Dr Pepper has to have variety. There are nine Dr Pepper drinks currently being sold in the United States. The latest version is “Dr Pepper 10.” “Ten Bold Calories” it says right on the 16 ounce plastic bottle. Except that it is ten calories per 8 ounce serving, so the honest name ought to be “Dr Pepper 20.” Or “Dr Pepper 15” for a 12 ounce can. But, I digress.

Dr Pepper 10 is being marketed as a “man’s drink.” “It’s only 10 manly calories, but with all 23 flavors of Dr Pepper.“ Apparently, Diet Dr Pepper doesn't have all the ingredients, besides just not having corn syrup for a sweetner? But, “it’s what guys want.”  O.K., I’m getting thirsty just thinking about this. It makes me want to punch somebody in the gut. I didn’t realize I was such a wuss for drinking Diet Dr Pepper, which I actually like, but with those extra calories, I can finally own up to my manhood. 

“Dr Pepper 10. It’s not for women.”

This is this the world our sons are born into. With so much emphasis on the equality of the sexes, and all the “trans,” as it were: -vestite,  -sexual, -gender, in my lifetime, we have finally found the distinct difference: 10 calories. 

Except, we fathers create the reality of what it means to be a man with our sons. Imitation being as strong as it is, there are alternatives.

Smoking cigars, drinking beer, and watching MMA? Nope, mom can do this to. 

How about treating our wives as precious? This is a good place to start. A real manly man adores his wife and makes no qualms about it.

Why?

How?

Friday.

 

God Doesn’t Eat Linguini

October 12th, 2011
This is bizarre. I am watching ESPN Sports Center Monday morning and they have a segment that is taped in the Raiders locker room after the game Sunday. Let me set the scene. 

Al Davis died over the weekend, and for the Raiders, the game against the Texans is seen as the classic “win one for the Gipper” scenario. Someone beloved dies and the football team goes out and plays their hearts out in honor of the deceased. Well, the Raiders did just that. They won a close game. They followed their coaches instructions to “win one for Al.”  So, why is this so strange?

It’s not the game itself, but the locker room team meeting afterward. The players are surrounding the coach, Hue Jackson, who is teary-eyed and emotionally spent. Jackson says, “Let’s have a moment of silence.” The players are all bowing their heads in prayer. Except this moment of silence isn’t a moment of silence, because Jackson immediately starts talking! What does he say? A prayer. Nothing unusual about this, except he begins praying to Al Davis!

He proceeds to tell Al that they miss him and they won the game for him, and such. The players surrounding him are still in prayer mode as Jackson gives his tribute to his boss and hero, all in the form of a prayer.

Two things.

1. A moment of silence, the politically correct term we use now for prayer, well, if you invoke it, then be silent.
2. Don’t pray to Al Davis. Pray to God about Al Davis. Don’t pray to Al Davis because he is not God. He was a great football mind. A great innovator. But, he is not the Almighty. I know this, because I met Al Davis. 

He was eating alone at the table next to us in Matteo's in LA, back in the 80’s. Dining alone on a Sunday night after a Raider’s game. Wrinkled old clothes and wearing the patented Raider’s jacket. Mr. Davis seemed sad and lonely, but I won’t speculate. 

What I do know is God is a non-physical being, and as such, does not eat food. This is why I am confident that Al Davis is not God. God does not eat pasta and that is what Al is dining on that night!

Heartfelt sentiment Coach Jackson, but let’s remember who really is the Big Coach in the Sky shall we?

God Is Always Ahead of Us as He Uses Us to Expand His KIngdom- podcast

October 7th, 2011
missional community.m4a Listen on Posterous

In Acts 8, we see how God uses the persecution of believers to spread the good news beyond Jerusalem, into Judea, and even beyond into hostile territory, Samaria. The Christians don't go alone. They go together in the power of the Holy Spirit, mainly organized into extended families, or oikos, as Scripture records. What might oikos look like today? We don't have to ask, it's already happening…

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: Part 4- Turn off the camera!

October 5th, 2011
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It never really stops with the kids!

How much time do you spend electronically recording your son's life?

I have an HD video camera on my phone. Also takes beautiful digital photos. Chances are, you have the same capabilities on your phone. I also have a thin HD video camera, about the size of a credit card, and waterproof. Great for video and photos at the beach and underwater snorkeling. Obviously, no film, no cassette; only a micro SD card. 

Now, when our kids were little, Nancy had a big Canon camera with special lenses and real 35 mm film. When Kristina was born, I had a VHS video camera that needed to be rested on my shoulder with the cassette player in a separate bag. Later, with the boys, I had a micro-cassette recorder. Still heavy, but I didn't need to be lugging around an extra 4 pounds!

Today, we have tons of photo albums sitting around in various storage areas around the house. Just looked through them. I do that every couple of years. Also, we have bags of cassettes, both VHS, micro-cassette, and DV cassettes. I have no idea what is on all of those. Want to transfer them someday.  

I think of all the time I could have spent behind the view finder of those cameras long ago, and I realize now that I am fortunate the video cameras were cumbersome, and with the film cameras, you had to be judicious with your photos because you actually could run out of film, along with the fact that  you had to have the film developed! But, I really wasn't good at taking pictures and movies anyway. My loud running commentaries are funny in small doses, but get a bit obnoxious after awhile. Having an extrovert behind the viewfinder is always a video challenge. With still photos, my hands always shake, so the best pictures are from Nancy anyway. She is an excellent photographer. 

Here's the thing. Dads, today I realize how tempting it is to spend your whole time filming your little guy because he is just about the cutest, most talented child on the planet. With today's technology, you can take as many photos, and shoot as much video footage, as you want. Actually unlimited access.  So, here are a few reminders.

1. You don't want your son growing up and imprinting on you with a camera in front of your face. If this gets burned into his brain circuitry, he will have a father who is half man/ half camera. No one wants to be raised by a cyborg…yet. So, make sure you frequently give it a rest.

2. I will look at your photos from time to time, but I can take about 30 seconds of your videos. Don't think you are doing me a favor recording your son's whole life for my sake, or for the sake of others (OK, a bit more for grandparents).

3. When you are actively playing, you can't take photos and videos anyway. Does you son want action time with daddy or does he want to hear, “Ready…Action!”?

4. Your son really does exist and he really is living his life, whether you are recording it or not.

5. Video and photography are not a substitute for a father actually practicing some parenting once in a while. Yes, dad, you know who you are!

6. The precedent is set from the beginning. When your son is performing or competing in an event, let your pure joy come out by just giving your whole attention as a member of the audience or a spectator. Again, once in awhile, give the camera a rest.

How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life