Your Body, My Choice
I am on the throne of my own kingdom, but that is not enough. I need to be on the throne of your life, as well. So I go into a body mode in my relationship with you.
Tongue
“Verbal manipulation” is where I use word games with you to try to gain advantage over you. It is a sign that our human creativity and imagination are not always a gift for the good.
“Politically-correct” language is an example of this trait gone rampant. It is the language of the modern religion of self- worship. This is always shifting the playing field to suit my purposes; always keeping you off balance. Other tried and true methods are whining, flattery, and repetitive requests.
“Verbal attack” comes into play here, as well. I don’t have the time or the interest to use principled reason, so a good bitter, sarcastic, seething tongue-lashing substitutes for clear thinking.
Body Language
Here is another tool at my disposal to influence your “kingdom.” I become the master of the frown, scowl, rolled eyes, crossed arms, and chin-in-the chest. I am the man of a thousand looks.
Related are the sounds of body language. The “tsk, tsk’s,” deep sighs, and “harumph” breaths are learned early, along with language itself. Just witness a young child practice these as if he/she were working on a black belt in sound attack.
My Choice vs. Your Choice
Remember, in all of these attempts to be the master of my own universe, you are working the same program that I am. Here is where we enter into inevitable conflict. I can’t be on my throne if I have to deal with you trying to remain on yours, as well. Something has to give.
War
Here is where we cross swords. All of the unholy tools I have previously mentioned may come into use. I will gain the advantage at all cost. After a while, it may not be getting my own way I am after, it may be just as important to me that you don’t get yours. This is as old as the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4). If Cain is not receiving his father’s blessing, well then, as a dead man, neither will Abel.
Win the Battle; Lose the War
Nothing good comes from this conflict of self-worship in one person battling self-worship in another person. If the other person gives in or simply quits, your satisfaction will be short-lived. The devastating effects may be permanent. We generally don’t engage in these battles with strangers. We match up against those we love; those with whom we can least afford to have fractured relations. Our stupidity in our interpersonal lives is often labeled, “self-destructive,” and indeed this is an accurate observation.
A confession: After writing on these characteristics of a body- focused life rather than a spiritually-focused life, I saw myself in some of this more than I would care to admit.
How about you?
