The central place for social transformation to have impact is in families. This is the fertile foundation for all other relationships both for good and evil. Family can be the most common place for attack and withdrawal, but it can also be a place where we learn mutual submission for the sake of the other. Where we can actually become Christlike in a way that is matchless. Renovation of the heart is a long view process that begins and continues with those closest to us.
Marriage is the place where we are designed to be at our most intimate and our most vulnerable. Husbands and wives are literally created to complement (making complete) each other, not just compliment each other. God has designed male and female to be complementary in in the essence of who we are. This is why I have followed the biblical model of marriage from day one with our children. I encouraged them to know that some day they will join someone in holy matrimony and their lives will be enhanced for all their days on earth. I know you may want to gag, but this is so right.
Genesis 2:18 (NLT)
And the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.”
The word for “companion” is often translated “helper” in other versions of the Bible. Neither of these words does complete justice to the meaning of the original language. The Hebrew word can be translated, “one who sees things from a different perspective.” Husbands and wives are created to see things differently! Marriage becomes a place where giving of ourselves for the sake of the other is best practiced by God’s design. And in marriage, husband and wife are constantly tested.
When they have children, parents then become the model for renovation, or attack and withdrawal. The very best and the very worst models of what it means to live in community start right here. You can’t be transformed in your relationships outside of your family without the foundation within.
Here is the challenge. A family is made up of individuals who are naturally moving toward self-worship. Society caters to this narcissistic focus of “what’s in it for me?” When relationships are fractured in the family, so much is at stake. Alienation and contempt may become common place. Divorce may seem the only way out for marriages. Parents and children may look upon each other as enemies. There is another way.
You can invite the community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to join with you. You can begin to live in God’s ways and declare a “no attack and no withdraw” zone as it relates to you. No matter what your family relationships are, you can be the new generation who will birth a new community of love in years to come.
What is the relationship between marriage and discipleship?
