It’s tough to learn a new language, but then there is the bonus of realizing a word may mean one thing to one group of people and quite another thing to another group.

British English and American English come to mind. The classic phrase, “Do you have a torch so I can look under the bonnet of my lorry?” comes to mind. If you haven’t been through this drill, in England this means,

“Do you have a flashlight so I can look under the hood of my truck?”

Words can also decline in usage quickly  in certain circles. Just when I was ready to “spit” truth and get “krunk,” rappers have moved on to something else. In case you missed it,

“Spit” means the processing of “rapping,” itself, like “crooning” is to “singing” a couple of generations ago. “Krunk”, well, either “crazy drunk (crazy + drunk, get it?),” “high,” or ?

In Christian circles we have fun with language, too. There are the normal “Christianeze” words like “sanctification,” “atonement,” and such, that “normal” people don’t use. (come to think of it, “Christianeze” is “Christianeze,” isn’t it?).

Then there are those phrases that use “normal” words but translation is still necessary. Here are seven.

7 phrases Christians use just to confuse you

1.    Father God- As opposed to Mother God? No, it’s just that there are only so many ways to address God in the Bible (Almighty God,  Our Father, LORD God…),  so we just decided to invent one that isn’t in the Bible and this becomes our favorite prayer phrase.

2.    Christianity is not a religion;  it is a relationship- When you hear the word, “religion,” you think of a bunch of rules and rituals people follow. So, we differentiate ourselves because being Christian is having a relationship with Jesus. Except that this phrase isn’t in the Bible. Jesus never says, “Have a relationship with me.” But, you get the gist, right?

3.   Bible-believing- This is a little dig that Christians use against each other. It means, “I am really serious about the Bible being God’s Word and you are not as serious.” Maybe it will catch on with other faiths.  “Q’uran- believing” mosque, anyone?

4.    quiet time- No, this isn’t in contrast to our “loud time.” it is a phrase used to say, “I am spending time alone with God.” It is supposed to be a daily time of prayer and Bible reading, and Christians use this phrase to check-up on each other. “How’s your quiet time going?”

5.  spiritual warfare- Another term we use that is not specifically in the Bible. It is alluded to, however, in the struggle that we have with Satan and forces of evil.  Using military metaphors for living out our faith is a powerful technique the biblical authors use, but connecting faith and potentially violent-sounding language with a public that doesn’t know our metaphors, especially in the present cultural climate…it may be time to give “warfare” language a rest for a while, at least in public settings.

6.    how’s your walk?- Related to “quiet time,” it is not asking specifically how your gait is going when you move from one location to another, like this, for example. “Walk,” here, refers to how you are presently living out your life as a Christian. As in, “If you talk the talk you better walk the walk.”  Confusing though, as “talking” in  this context is not what God is looking for in the first place (see Isaiah 29:13).

7.    love on them- I agree, I have no idea why Christians use this phrase, either. I think I get the meaning, as in, “Christians have to stop judging people and start loving on them,” and so forth. Yet, if I am “loving on you,” it sounds a bit creepy, don’t you think? Like something The Bee Gees wanted to do to the  ladies in the 70′s.

“Let me love on you, baby…”

Oh well, It does help me learn graciousness though, because this is my current “drives me crazy,” phrase of choice.