When you are dealing with people with another viewpoint, how do you prevent them from setting up a wall against you quickly without considering your viewpoint? The most helpful method I have seen and one that has worked well for me is from Greg Koukl of Stand to Reason ministries, the “Columbo” method.



It goes something like this.



When you are addressing an issue, ask the other person two lines of questions first.



1) “What do you mean by that? Tell me more.”



After they have spoken about the topic, ask,



2) “How did you come to this understanding? How can I find out more about that? What are helpful resources I could check out? ”



In this way you will see if they have thought this through, are simply parroting someone else, or maybe just stating an unsupported opinion. Now, you know where they are coming from and you have to make a quick decision. Three choices.



1) They may ask you what you think and then you can answer.

2) They may seem defensive or irritable, to which you reply, “Thanks, I’ll look into that further. Maybe we can talk about it again.”

3) Or if they seem open, say, “Have you ever considered…” and then give your view.



The question-asking Columbo style, like the TV detective, asks questions. Someone isn’t that interested in what you think unless they know you are interested in what they think. Notice you aren’t challenging anything they are saying; just being an attentive listener. If they give you an opening to graciously respond- use it.