I like to joke with people and say, “The church is the only voluntary organization in existence today where people go to consistently be told they are wrong.” Obviously, this is an exaggeration, but if the center of human nature is narcissism, “it’s all about me and what I think,” then it is not too much of a stretch. The first basic message we learn in church is “Jesus is Lord and we are not.”

A healthy church community is a place where we open ourselves up to the message of Jesus where he says, “My way works. Learn from me and connect with me and I will guide your development to be the person I have destined you to be.” In this development, clear teaching and trusted Christian friends who are also on this journey provide feedback.

Without a church community guiding you in a basic biblical model of faith, and calling into question places where you stray, it is too tempting to design a faith that reflects whatever you want. It’s like going to Coldstones for ice cream. If you don’t know Coldstones, these are ice cream shops that not only have a ton of flavor choices, but also a ton of additives, like crushed Heath bar and gummi bears. You order a base ice cream and then as many additions as you choose and then they crush it together, mix it up, and there you go.

Whenever someone says, “I am very spiritual, I just don’t go to church,” I hear, “I really benefit from religious teachings, but I don’t want to be challenged. I don’t want what I think ever questioned. I don’t want to take the chance that I am not going to be able to do exactly what I want.”

Now, I don’t think people realize this might be their meaning. I do know there are other reasons people who are “spiritual” don’t participate in “spiritual” communities. I just can’t help thinking, “Coldstones.”