How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life

Grandpa Diary #20

September 18th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

You went to the doctor on Monday. Guess what? You are a growing girl after two months! You gained about five pounds and you grew about three inches! Since you were a little over seven pounds when you were born, that means your weight went up over 70%! If Grandpa did that in the last two months, I would have gained over 150 pounds! I don’t care how much I like pizza, cherry pie, and donuts, I don’t think I could ever be an eating dynamo like you!

I would have to start wearing a muumuu like a favorite cartoon character for your mommy and me-
homer-simpson-muumuu
Homer Simpson.

The good news is, you are supposed to gain as much weight as you want now, because all you are eating is your mommy’s milk. It’s good for you! And one invention I really love is the bottle. This way your daddy can feed you with your mommy’s milk, too. He get’s to see you tucked close and staring right in his eyes while you eat.

Grandpa gets to feed you, too. I find it fascinating that you know just when you have had enough. You wiggle your tongue around and move your head back and forth because you don’t want to suck the bottle anymore. If you do happen to eat more than you need, you take care off that, too. You spit up on my black shirt because I forget to put a cloth over my shoulder when I am holding you!

OK, I guess I have to make sure I have a cloth at all times after you eat. There is no way I am going to miss my post-meal “hugging, burping, squeezing” love time.

Or…

Maybe I am going to have to start wearing more white shirts.

Come on, Kaylee, I’m partial to black! I find it quite slimming. Are you going to be the source of a clothing shift for me? My granddaughter is already working on my ensemble?

O well, I guess I should have seen this coming. You see your mommy has always been my fashionista over the years. My “What to wear or not wear/ What to buy or not buy,” personal valet.

Your Nana always says, “Kristina, you go with dad,” whenever I go clothes shopping so your mommy can be Nana’s eyes while we are picking out clothes.

“Not thaaat shirt, dad!”

or-

“I think those shoes are really cool, dad, but mom’s not going to like them.”

O, that’s another thing, Kaylee, I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Your mommy has learned a lot from me because I am her daddy. How much Jesus loves us. How daddy’s love their daughters lots and lots and lots. How daddy’s love mommys lots and lots and lots. But, one thing I taught her that isn’t always a daddy thing?

Shoes and bags. I “love” shoes and bags.

So, guess what? Two of the favorite things your mommy likes to shop for?

Shoes and bags!

Hmmm, who knows, Kaylee? I can see a little shopping trio being formed sometime in our futureā€¦

Can hardly wait!

Love,

Grandpa

How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life