How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life

Grandpa Diary #12

August 8th, 2013
Dear Kaylee, 

I visited you last night, with your Uncle David. We only stopped by for 10 minutes as we “happened to be in the neighborhood” (though you are 27 miles away). Uncle David started laughing and said,

“Gees, dad. ‘Kaylee this and Kaylee that.’”
Then we got into a discussion with your mommy about why I get such a kick being around you, and did Uncle David feel the same way? Obviously, you are my granddaughter, so it isn’t a tough to figure out for my part, but what about Uncle David?
You are his first niece or nephew. Being an uncle has been exciting for him and your Uncle Greg. But, then your mommy said something very insightful.
“Dad, you are so excited because you have already had kids and you know how much you love them. David is excited, too, but once he has kids of his own, then he will be thrilled, but probably less excited with other nieces/ nephews that come along.”
This makes so much sense. Although I  love my nieces and nephews very much, and love the children of my extended family, there is just something about being a grandpa that goes way deeper than that.
My baby girl has a baby girl.
The chance to experience what other grandparents have taught me over the years.
A focus for your grandma and me that really brings out pure joy and makes us appreciate more what we have together.
I know we are parents, and adore your mommy and your uncles, but that isn’t always a joyous occasion :) We are growing to love and appreciate your daddy, too. We share friends together and ministry together and all the rest, but, with you there is just smiles that almost hurt because they are stretching our faces so much! I think about it this way.
When daddy’s and mommy’s have babies, it doesn’t automatically strengthen their marriage. Having children is amazing, but it is also super tough and God’s grace goes a long way!
Yet, when mommy’s and daddy’s kids grow up and they start having children, it does seem to really build up grandmas and grandpas in their own marriage, if they let it. It brings a surprising amount of joy.
Kaylee, you are a fountain of joy pouring over your grandma and me right now.
Not a shock. God is really good with fountains…
Love,
Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #11

August 2nd, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Three weeks ago, today, the day you were born, is a good experiment for your mommy and daddy to understand God’s love. It goes something like this.

When you came out of your mommy’s womb, those first few moments for your mommy and daddy were filled with:

terror- is everything going to be alright?

ecstatic joy- most exciting feeling ever

confusion- now what are we supposed to do with this tiny creature?

wonder- how can anything be so perfect as this?

But, most of all, what filled your daddy and mommy down to the bottom of their hearts into the depths of their souls is this-

love…

Kaylee, you didn’t do anything, but appear. You took your first breaths, wiggled for the first time, and made your first sounds, but that’s it. Guess what?

Your mommy will never love you any more than on that day. Same for your daddy.

Your mommy will never love you any less than that day. Daddy, too.

And you didn’t do a thing…

Why is this?

You can thank God.

The love your mommy and daddy had for you when they saw you for the first time is based on what God put into them when He made them. It is a love that doesn’t depend on anything you do or don’t do. It is a love that can’t be earned. It is a love that is based on the simple fact that you are Kaylee. Your mommy and daddy love you exactly who you are and nothing will ever make them love you more or less than on that day, July 12, 2013.

This is helpful for you to remember when you get to spend more and more time getting to know God. He is your loving Father in heaven who loves you exactly as you are because you are Kaylee. Nothing you do or don’t do is ever going to change His love. You don’t need to earn His love so you don’t have to try. You are his precious daughter and he adores you always. Never more or less that at this specific moment. God the Father loves like that.

And God is so smart that he wires mommys and daddys to love the same way. They just have to keep remembering what it was like that first day they saw you face to face.

There she is…Our precious Kaylee!

Love,

Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #10

July 31st, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

I got to spend much time with you last night at your new house. You live 40 minutes away during traffic time and I am already used to that. You are a real squirmy wormy always stretching and looking around. I like to call you, “woodpecker” because when I am hugging you to my shoulder, you will lift your head back, and then, “boom!” it crashes back to my shoulder. I say you are exercising and making your neck stronger. Your mommy says you are looking for me to feed you, but, sorry, that’s not going to happen until you start using a bottle. So, you just keep on pecking away…

Guess who has come to visit? Our niece, Elizabeth, is out here from Wisconsin. She is your Great-Uncle Jon’s daughter, and she is your mommy’s friend. She was in your mommy’s wedding, so she is glad to see your mommy and daddy again, but now it’s not for a wedding, it is a little over a year and a half later and she gets to see her new second cousin!

Kaylee, there are a lot of names for people who are related to you. This is part of the extended family that I told you about last time. We use words to describe who is who. But, more than that, it tells you where you come from. I don’t mean your mommy’s womb, but there is history to every family and extended family…We are not isolated; we are part of something larger than ourselves.

So, for instance, you will not understand now, but some day when you look at baby pictures you will see that you are dressed in a Green Bay Packer onesie. That’s because you have your Hanson side and Elizabeth is a huge Packer fan, as well she should be. Now, you will also learn about your USC Herman side, too.

This will be confusing, but some day it will all make sense…and Kaylee, in your baby sighs, gurgles, and squeals, you are speaking a primordial language that if translated would say,

“I love my mommy.”

“I love my daddy.”

and…

“Go, Pack, Go!”

Love,
Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #9

July 30th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Grandma and I went on a camping trip with some friends, and we drove back from far away and were tired and needed to just get home and relax. We didn’t even stop and eat anywhere. But, we were driving past where you live, so…

Of course, we were stopping! We hadn’t seen you for four days! Funny, how we weren’t tired anymore when we pulled up to in front of your new house and got to see you. We even had friends Mac and Donna stop, too. They hadn’t seen you, yet.

Grandma, got to hold you first (the way it should be), then Donna, then Mac said he didn’t want to hog you and so he would defer from holding you, but Grandma handed you over to him anyway, and boy did he like that! It was fun watching friends enjoy holding you, because you bring love out with everyone. You are not just part of our family, you are part of our extended family, too. This means you have many people who love you and pray for you, even though they don’t live with you.

God designed us to live in extended family, called, “tribe,” in the early days of His people and then later, called, “Oikos,” or “household.” There are going to be many, many times in your life that you are going to be blessed because your mommy and daddy are loved by so many people, too. We all will be there to care for you, encourage you, and watch God grow you. You are a part of us all, now.

And it just so happens you are the cutest part…

Love,Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #8

July 25th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

A lot of firsts today (7/23). It was the first time I drove with you in a car. I am in the back seat with you, and your mommy is driving. You were fussy, and started that little Kaylee cry. I thought your mommy was going to start crying, too. Now mommy’s, especially new one’s, are kind of sensitive when they hear their babies cry. They might even start crying themselves! People call that “hormones,” but I call it a “loveache.” If your mommy thinks you are hurt or even uncomfortable, she is going to hurt, too. On the inside. 

I hear from the front seat, “Daddy, could you do something?” You are in a car seat, so I can’t take you out. I know just what to. I slipped my grandpa hand underneath you just where there is already a perfect grandpa spot on your back where my hand fits. You settled down fast. Actually, very peaceful…That was good because your mommy needed to pay attention because-

the side of the road was on fire! 

Kaylee, this is California and it is dry and depending on where you are, it is ready to burst into flames! 

California is such a beautiful place with such wonderful weather- we are willing to take a lot of grief…

As we watch the fire on the side of the freeway, there are very skilled firefighter’s who put the fire out and get things rolling again. I thank God for their courage which comes from Him, because they wouldn’t just naturally face danger in this way. No matter how much they were paid.

Another first, of course, is you get to see your new home. O, my, do you have a wonderful house! Starting tomorrow, you will live there. So, what does this mean?

First, Kaylee, everyone says that your mommy and daddy’s generation for the first time in American history, will not do as well as their parents. But if your house is any indication, your mommy and daddy are doing just fine. Your house is huge! Way bigger that the house where your mommy grew up. You will get to know that house, because that’s where Grandma and I still live.

Kaylee, it doesn’t matter how big your house is though, it matters how big the hearts are that live in the house. And I know something about your house already. Starting tomorrow, when you move in, it will be a house full of love. How could it not be that? Kaylee will be there and she brings love to everyone around her…

Now, let me tell you something special. When you go out in your backyard you will see that you have birch trees and I love birch trees. Your grandma and I come from birch tree country. When I saw that you have birch trees in your yard, a little bit of my childhood came back and made me smile. Those are the trees you will be playing under. Those are the trees you will be dreaming under…

I will tell you right now (and I am praying right now that it will happen) that if I were you, I would start looking up to the sky through those branches every chance you have…You will always see the same thing…Through those trees you will see light…sunlight, moonlight…a light that brings life…reminding you…Kaylee, you are not alone, you will never be alone because- God is everywhere. He surrounds you   . And he loves you a billion trillion times more than Grandpa does. Even more than your mommy and daddy love you. How can anyone love you more than mommy and daddy??

Well, your mommy and daddy are the first and strongest sign of just how much God does loves you…You see, you are His little Kaylee, too. 

Love, 

Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #7

July 23rd, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

 

Grandma and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary this weekend. Your Grandma is beautiful and smart and strong and good, but I will let you in on a little secret. One of the main reasons I asked your grandma to be my wife is because I thought she would be a great mommy. Guess what? I was right! Your grandma is an amazing mommy and you’ll really get to know this because your mommy learned how to be a mommy mainly from grandma.

 

We learn most of what we know from modeling when it comes to being a mommy and daddy. That’s a fancy way of saying we watch our mommy’s and daddy’s and we learn from them. Well, what Grandma learned from her mommy, your Great-Grandma Lindgren, she has passed down to your mommy, and now you get to enjoy the blessing, because Great-Grandma Lindgren wasn’t just Great-Grandma she was a great model!

 

We don’t pass down everything, though…We leave behind things that aren’t helpful. When your Uncle Greg and Uncle David get married some day, there will be some things I don’t want them to model from me. Sometimes I have said things that are not nice to your grandma. Over the years I have learned to not do that as much, and I always say I’m sorry, but your uncles will be better at this because I never hid from them when I said, “I’m sorry to Grandma,” and she didn’t hide saying, “I forgive you.”

 

You see Kaylee, moms and dad argue sometimes and children see this, so when mommy’s and daddy’s don’t apologize in front of their children, as well, the children never learn about saying, “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you.” All they see is their mommy’s and daddy’s are arguing and that’s scary by itself. Uncle Greg and Uncle David will be better husbands because they saw their daddy is not perfect but he doesn’t try to hide that fact.

 

I have to admit something Kaylee. The best part of our anniversary was seeing you. Spending time with you and watching your mommy and daddy with you. Already I like to watch your mommy and daddy look at you. They have messages in their eyes that say you are beautiful, you are loved, you are precious, you bring them joy, you fill them with wonder, you are their little Kaylee. Someone once said, “The eyes are windows to the soul,” and Kaylee, when I look at your mommy and daddy’s eyes look at you, I can tell you that they love you- with all their soul.

 

That’s just how God wants it…

 

Love,

 

Grandpa

 

How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life