How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life

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Grandpa Diary #12

August 8th, 2013
Dear Kaylee, 

I visited you last night, with your Uncle David. We only stopped by for 10 minutes as we “happened to be in the neighborhood” (though you are 27 miles away). Uncle David started laughing and said,

“Gees, dad. ‘Kaylee this and Kaylee that.’”
Then we got into a discussion with your mommy about why I get such a kick being around you, and did Uncle David feel the same way? Obviously, you are my granddaughter, so it isn’t a tough to figure out for my part, but what about Uncle David?
You are his first niece or nephew. Being an uncle has been exciting for him and your Uncle Greg. But, then your mommy said something very insightful.
“Dad, you are so excited because you have already had kids and you know how much you love them. David is excited, too, but once he has kids of his own, then he will be thrilled, but probably less excited with other nieces/ nephews that come along.”
This makes so much sense. Although I  love my nieces and nephews very much, and love the children of my extended family, there is just something about being a grandpa that goes way deeper than that.
My baby girl has a baby girl.
The chance to experience what other grandparents have taught me over the years.
A focus for your grandma and me that really brings out pure joy and makes us appreciate more what we have together.
I know we are parents, and adore your mommy and your uncles, but that isn’t always a joyous occasion :) We are growing to love and appreciate your daddy, too. We share friends together and ministry together and all the rest, but, with you there is just smiles that almost hurt because they are stretching our faces so much! I think about it this way.
When daddy’s and mommy’s have babies, it doesn’t automatically strengthen their marriage. Having children is amazing, but it is also super tough and God’s grace goes a long way!
Yet, when mommy’s and daddy’s kids grow up and they start having children, it does seem to really build up grandmas and grandpas in their own marriage, if they let it. It brings a surprising amount of joy.
Kaylee, you are a fountain of joy pouring over your grandma and me right now.
Not a shock. God is really good with fountains…
Love,
Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #11

August 2nd, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Three weeks ago, today, the day you were born, is a good experiment for your mommy and daddy to understand God’s love. It goes something like this.

When you came out of your mommy’s womb, those first few moments for your mommy and daddy were filled with:

terror- is everything going to be alright?

ecstatic joy- most exciting feeling ever

confusion- now what are we supposed to do with this tiny creature?

wonder- how can anything be so perfect as this?

But, most of all, what filled your daddy and mommy down to the bottom of their hearts into the depths of their souls is this-

love…

Kaylee, you didn’t do anything, but appear. You took your first breaths, wiggled for the first time, and made your first sounds, but that’s it. Guess what?

Your mommy will never love you any more than on that day. Same for your daddy.

Your mommy will never love you any less than that day. Daddy, too.

And you didn’t do a thing…

Why is this?

You can thank God.

The love your mommy and daddy had for you when they saw you for the first time is based on what God put into them when He made them. It is a love that doesn’t depend on anything you do or don’t do. It is a love that can’t be earned. It is a love that is based on the simple fact that you are Kaylee. Your mommy and daddy love you exactly who you are and nothing will ever make them love you more or less than on that day, July 12, 2013.

This is helpful for you to remember when you get to spend more and more time getting to know God. He is your loving Father in heaven who loves you exactly as you are because you are Kaylee. Nothing you do or don’t do is ever going to change His love. You don’t need to earn His love so you don’t have to try. You are his precious daughter and he adores you always. Never more or less that at this specific moment. God the Father loves like that.

And God is so smart that he wires mommys and daddys to love the same way. They just have to keep remembering what it was like that first day they saw you face to face.

There she is…Our precious Kaylee!

Love,

Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #10

July 31st, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

I got to spend much time with you last night at your new house. You live 40 minutes away during traffic time and I am already used to that. You are a real squirmy wormy always stretching and looking around. I like to call you, “woodpecker” because when I am hugging you to my shoulder, you will lift your head back, and then, “boom!” it crashes back to my shoulder. I say you are exercising and making your neck stronger. Your mommy says you are looking for me to feed you, but, sorry, that’s not going to happen until you start using a bottle. So, you just keep on pecking away…

Guess who has come to visit? Our niece, Elizabeth, is out here from Wisconsin. She is your Great-Uncle Jon’s daughter, and she is your mommy’s friend. She was in your mommy’s wedding, so she is glad to see your mommy and daddy again, but now it’s not for a wedding, it is a little over a year and a half later and she gets to see her new second cousin!

Kaylee, there are a lot of names for people who are related to you. This is part of the extended family that I told you about last time. We use words to describe who is who. But, more than that, it tells you where you come from. I don’t mean your mommy’s womb, but there is history to every family and extended family…We are not isolated; we are part of something larger than ourselves.

So, for instance, you will not understand now, but some day when you look at baby pictures you will see that you are dressed in a Green Bay Packer onesie. That’s because you have your Hanson side and Elizabeth is a huge Packer fan, as well she should be. Now, you will also learn about your USC Herman side, too.

This will be confusing, but some day it will all make sense…and Kaylee, in your baby sighs, gurgles, and squeals, you are speaking a primordial language that if translated would say,

“I love my mommy.”

“I love my daddy.”

and…

“Go, Pack, Go!”

Love,
Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #8

July 25th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

A lot of firsts today (7/23). It was the first time I drove with you in a car. I am in the back seat with you, and your mommy is driving. You were fussy, and started that little Kaylee cry. I thought your mommy was going to start crying, too. Now mommy’s, especially new one’s, are kind of sensitive when they hear their babies cry. They might even start crying themselves! People call that “hormones,” but I call it a “loveache.” If your mommy thinks you are hurt or even uncomfortable, she is going to hurt, too. On the inside. 

I hear from the front seat, “Daddy, could you do something?” You are in a car seat, so I can’t take you out. I know just what to. I slipped my grandpa hand underneath you just where there is already a perfect grandpa spot on your back where my hand fits. You settled down fast. Actually, very peaceful…That was good because your mommy needed to pay attention because-

the side of the road was on fire! 

Kaylee, this is California and it is dry and depending on where you are, it is ready to burst into flames! 

California is such a beautiful place with such wonderful weather- we are willing to take a lot of grief…

As we watch the fire on the side of the freeway, there are very skilled firefighter’s who put the fire out and get things rolling again. I thank God for their courage which comes from Him, because they wouldn’t just naturally face danger in this way. No matter how much they were paid.

Another first, of course, is you get to see your new home. O, my, do you have a wonderful house! Starting tomorrow, you will live there. So, what does this mean?

First, Kaylee, everyone says that your mommy and daddy’s generation for the first time in American history, will not do as well as their parents. But if your house is any indication, your mommy and daddy are doing just fine. Your house is huge! Way bigger that the house where your mommy grew up. You will get to know that house, because that’s where Grandma and I still live.

Kaylee, it doesn’t matter how big your house is though, it matters how big the hearts are that live in the house. And I know something about your house already. Starting tomorrow, when you move in, it will be a house full of love. How could it not be that? Kaylee will be there and she brings love to everyone around her…

Now, let me tell you something special. When you go out in your backyard you will see that you have birch trees and I love birch trees. Your grandma and I come from birch tree country. When I saw that you have birch trees in your yard, a little bit of my childhood came back and made me smile. Those are the trees you will be playing under. Those are the trees you will be dreaming under…

I will tell you right now (and I am praying right now that it will happen) that if I were you, I would start looking up to the sky through those branches every chance you have…You will always see the same thing…Through those trees you will see light…sunlight, moonlight…a light that brings life…reminding you…Kaylee, you are not alone, you will never be alone because- God is everywhere. He surrounds you   . And he loves you a billion trillion times more than Grandpa does. Even more than your mommy and daddy love you. How can anyone love you more than mommy and daddy??

Well, your mommy and daddy are the first and strongest sign of just how much God does loves you…You see, you are His little Kaylee, too. 

Love, 

Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #6

July 19th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Well, I finally got to snuggle with you again. I held you for about an hour and a half while you slept, and you opened your eyes when I shifted you to the other side of your head. You like left cheek on chest, rather than right cheek. You mommy told me to to shift you every once in a while so you wouldn’t get used to just one side. Mommys’ know, so I did.

While you were sleeping on my chest, your mommy read you my favorite book that I used to read to her. “I Love You Forever.” It was really, really, wonderful to hear my baby say these same words to her baby.

“I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” (I whispered, “my Kaylee, you’ll be,” to myself.)

The book was extra special because your mommy just got a package with many children’s books that your Great Uncle Mark had at his home. It has been a very say time for all of us because Uncle Mark got really, really sick, and died in April. We will always be sad, but we have peace and joy knowing he is fully healed and living with Jesus. Everytime we read those books to you, and you read them, it will be like your Great Uncle Mark is reading them to you, too.

When you were born, it was extra special for your Grandma Hanson, because she is so very sad about her brother she loves so much. My heart hurts lots, so I can’t imagine how much she hurts. But, when you came into our world fully, only one week ago today, I saw joy come into her eyes and shine on her face, such as I haven’t seen for a long time.

That’s what you are Kaylee, a heart healer.

Well, I have to go because Grandma and I are going out for dinner. It’s our 27th wedding anniversary! Next time, I will tell you all about that!

Love,
Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #5

July 17th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Well, enough is enough! Today (7/17/13) it will be two whole days since I have seen you:(

I want to snuggle my nose against your little neck and smell my little Kaylee…

This is not weird, as I used to do this with your mommy, too. The sweetest “baby-smell” in the world! Actually, most of us adults do the same thing if we hold babies. Either their necks or their hair, y’all just smell so fresh and clean!

When I was a little boy, your great-grandma used to smell me, and she would make these, “Sniff, sniff” sounds, and then she would say,

“Oh, it’s one of my own. Mommy knows the smell of one of her cubs!”

Great-Grandma Hanson is talking about how mommy bears like to sniff their cubs. And Great-Grandma Hanson had 5 cubs, so that was a lot of sniffing! The other four “cubs” are your great uncles: David, Steve, Jon and Andy. David is married to Shari and Andy is married to Peggy, so they are your great aunts. They are all so excited you have finally arrived!

Great-Grandpa Hanson is excited about you, too. He and Great-Grandma Hanson don’t live near us, so he has to only think of you by looking at your picture.  He lives in a place with lots of other great-grandparents and he says, “My great-granddaughter is the cutest!” He has a big picture of you that he showed to everyone and now it’s on his refrigerator with other pictures I sent. This is so he can remember his first little grandchild, Kaylee, every time he wants to get something to eat!

Great-grandma Hanson is excited and loves you, too! You are deep in her spirit and mind. I told her all about you, but she can’t really talk about you a lot, because she has a hard time remembering things. But, O, how she loved your mommy so very much and she has a shadow in her mind of her special granddaughter, Kristina, so I know that she loves you so very much, too, even if she can’t talk about it. In fact, if she were holding you right now, she might just sniff your neck and say,

“A great-grandma knows her cub!”

Love,

Grandpa

Grandpa Diary #4

July 16th, 2013

Dear Kaylee,

Today (7/15/13) we got to see you again…Yayyyy! Grandma, your Uncle David and I came over in the afternoon. Your mom and dad and Uncle Matt were there with you, too. I was so antzy to see you, I could hardly wait. Then when I walked through the door, there you were! Oh you were so cute in one of your onesie outfits. Grandma and Uncle David held you for a looooong time- then your mom fed you- and now it’s my turn.

I put a little blanket on my shoulder and laid your head there so I could rub your back and burp you. Well,

“Thar she blows!”

Your first spit-up on me, but it wasn’t so bad. Kind of cute and didn’t bother me at all. Then I held you on my knees and looked at you for a long time. Back to rubbing your back, and, hey Kaylee, you sure are a wiggle worm!

I know you are stretching every which way to put your muscles and tendons in action. It was like you were in a yoga class. Then, guess what? your mom asked me to change your diaper. Well, I haven’t done that for years, and boy do you have little legs…

Oh, and it was a stinky diaper, too. It was like riding a bike to change you, though, memory kicked in and when I cleaned you off and put on a fresh diaper, you looked at me like, “Thanks, Grandpa, now give me back to Grandma!

So, I did…

Love Grandpa

How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk

Faith in real life